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How All Feelings Are Good or Are They?

What Are Feelings?

What Kinds of Primary Feelings and Emotions Do We Feel?

What Comes Next ? Secondary Feelings Of Frustration

Then Comes Depression

Positive Programming With Hypnosis


What Are Feelings?


Mentioned by Cal Banyan in his book The Secret Language of Feelings feelings are emotions, not thoughts. To a question What do you feel? you answer: "I feel sad, (or lonely) (or angry), etc. and not: " I think it is wrong to do this or that." Emotions are easily distinguished from thoughts if we understand that feelings are our physical reactions to the situations around us, the emotional response.


And the emotional responses could be good or bad. Good feelings are our emotional responses with pleasurable outcome, where our wants and desires are satisfied. Those are happiness, joy, safety, security, peacefulness, pride for yourself, achievement, love. We like the ways of expression of those emotions and the way we feel the corresponding feelings.


However, feeling and emotions are different. Feelings can be physical and non-physical. Emotions are always in our mind and can affect our physical condition.


Feelings are showing the way to a real emotion. Emotion can be described as a perception, way of reaction to an event, happening. You may be surprised to know that there is only one emotion - desire, wish. Desire can be described as "I wish" in four basic expressions of emotion. Fear, anger, sadness and joy.

Fear is an expression of a wish to run away from a problem.

Anger is a willful expression antagonistic assertiveness, confrontation, sadness is a wish to change things, and joy is a wish to live.  Think about this, you will understand the inner core of their meaning. 

Let's talk about the bad feelings. Consider the feelings of anger or sadness. Once we can identify the feeling, this means that some want or need has been left unmet. And this calls for an action. We are like a mechanism that needs repair, like a car that needs fuel to run.


All Feelings Are Good


All Feelings are good because they are given to us to feel something for a reason. They give us a motivation and movement in our behavior.  Let's look at feelings through their unmet needs. Create the emotional stimulation through emotional pain, not pleasure (unlike the "good" feelings). Bad Feelings are these:


Kinds of Feelings and Emotions We Feel


Emotional Pain //Corresponding Un-met Need/Desire

Bored - Unmet need to feel Challenged

Sadness -Unmet need to keep valued people or things

Anger - Unmet need to feel Fairness FOR self/others

Guilt -Unmet need to feel Fairness TO others

Stress -Unmet need to succeed in managing one's life

Fear -Unmet need to feel Safe

Loneliness-Unmet need for a Relationship/closeness

Inadequacy- Unmet need to feel Equal/adequate

Frustration- Unmet desire to meet one's needs

Depression -Unmet need to be hopeful/optimistic/independent of the problem/symptom


What Comes Next ? 

Often we use distracters to move the focus of our attention form the feeling we have toward what MAY make us feel "better", like having a bowl of ice-cream or buying a couple of pairs of shoes, or having a drink. This does not get rid of the feeling and in many cases makes us feel even worse, as ice-cream puts on a few extra pounds when we don't need them, shopping impairs our financial situation adding to feeling bad, and drinking impairs our judgment making us end up with a wrong decision. When the primary feelings are left unattended and the distracters are in place then the consequent feeling of



a deep disappointment in all your ability to achieve some positive change which enters your life. When frustration builds up and we loose the capacity to make decisions correctly and eventually loose interest in many things that usually made us feel good in the past,


Then Comes Depression

a complete disinterest in all you have always loved, a feeling of prolonged sadness and inability to motivate one-self toward progress and success.



Positive Programming With Hypnosis

Distracters to make us feel "better" are just not enough. All they do is just postpone dealing with the source problem until the feeling grows into a depressive state.  Some common distracters are consuming more food and shopping, smoking and drinking, perpetual cleaning and constantly busying ourselves until we are so tired and flop in the bed without thinking, and then laying there and cannot fall asleep.




Through Hypnosis we can enter The Positive Programming stage. The goal here is to correctly identify the feeling we feel initially and correctly categorize it, and then create a positive correct response to the CAUSE, not to the consequent feeling. From the categories listed at the top of the page it is easier to pick out a feeling for this moment when we feel it. In hypnosis such work is highly facilitated. Then we need to identify the source of such feeling. If every time you go to work your head hurts and you feel angry, then work through the day until you find the source (not the direction) of your anger. Perhaps it is a job in itself, rather than your boss, or a co-worker. Then comes the most important step to identify the correct satisfying response. So the process is such "Feeling-Cause-Response" The process can be largely facilitated through hypnosis, as in hypnosis many ways of calculating, analyzing and rationalizing are substituted by relaxed flow of subconscious knowledge coming up to the surface of your thinking. This is why the process becomes so successful and fast.


Case Studies:

Kay was a successful stock broker. She was married for 7 years but during this time was not able to conceive a child she wanted. Her husband was a busy businessman, with three daughters from previous marriage and one of them getting pregnant at the age of 15. Kay had no idea where her frustration stemmed from and continued eating more and more. Initially and through work in hypnosis it was easy for her to determine what the feelings were: she became  stressed in her relationship, felt lonely in her battle with her emotions, and feared for her family stability. Finally, she resolved to learn to relax, learned to manage the life with her husband better, which gave her a feeling of safety and more time in relationship with her husband. She lost weight and relaxed and was able to conceive within 6 months.


 Janice was a very busy marketing director. She practically lives at work. Her eating patterns became destructive to her. She gained weight and felt frustrated. Every night she continued to comfort herself after a hard and emotionally draining day with a bowl of ice-cream in bed before falling asleep, but it did not make her feel any better. Through hypnosis she was able to work her situation, determined the feeling of loneliness, and began working toward creating a ground for her relationship. She had also identified another feeling, guilt, through her being unfair to her daughter through her divorce. She had also had identified a feeling of anger toward her ex-husband, because he left her in a straining financial situation and now she had little time for her small daughter. She started to fear for her job, as her financial situation became progressively worse. Being able to pinpoint the feelings allowed Janice to start work and quickly progress onto a productive re-direction of her energy and her time. Quickly soon after she regained the control in her life and felt much safer and more relaxed.




Learning to Reframe Negative Responses Through Identifying the feeling you feel, then identifying the cause of it, the source of it, and then creating the satisfying response to calm this feeling.

Goal - Feeling at Peace


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