GOOD BAD FEELINGS
How All Feelings Are
Good or Are They?
What Are Feelings?
What Kinds of
Primary Feelings and Emotions Do We Feel?
What Comes Next ?
Secondary Feelings Of Frustration
Then Comes
Depression
Positive
Programming With Hypnosis
What Are Feelings?
I am discussing the
wonderful informative book by Cal Banyan The Secret Language of Feelings,
which you can find on our recommended list of
Suggested Books.
Feelings are closer to emotions,
not thoughts. To a question What do you feel? you answer: "I feel sad, (or
lonely) (or angry), etc. and not: " I think it is wrong to do this or
that." Emotions are easily distinguished from thoughts if we understand that
feelings are our physical reactions to the situations around us, the emotional
response.
And the emotional responses
could be good or bad. Good feelings are our emotional responses with pleasurable
outcome, where our wants and desires are satisfied. Those are happiness, joy, safety,
security, peacefulness, pride for yourself, achievement, love. We like the ways
of expression of those emotions and the way we feel the corresponding
feelings.
However, feeling and
emotions are different. Feelings can be physical and non-physical. Emotions are
always in our mind and can affect our physical condition.
Feelings are showing
the way to a real emotion. Emotion can be described as a perception, way of
reaction to an event, happening. You may be surprised to know that there is only
one emotion - desire, wish. Desire can be described as "I wish" in four basic
expressions of emotion. Fear, anger, sadness and joy.
Fear is an expression of a wish to run away
from a problem.
Anger is a willful expression antagonistic
assertiveness, confrontation, sadness is a wish to change things, and joy is a
wish to live. Think about this, you will understand the inner core of
their meaning.
Let's talk about the
bad feelings. Consider the feelings of anger or sadness. Once we can identify
the feeling, this means that some want or need has been left unmet. And this
calls for an action. We are like a mechanism that needs repair, like a car that
needs fuel to run.
Surprise!! - All Feelings Are
Good
All Feelings are good
because they are given to us to feel something for a reason. They give us a
motivation and movement in our behavior. Let's look at feelings through
their unmet needs. Create the emotional stimulation through emotional pain, not
pleasure (unlike the "good" feelings). Bad Feelings are these:
Kinds of Feelings
and Emotions We Feel
Emotional Pain //Corresponding
Un-met Need/Desire
Bored - Unmet
need to feel
Challenged
Sadness -Unmet
need to keep valued people or things
Anger - Unmet
need to feel
Fairness FOR self/others
Guilt -Unmet need
to feel
Fairness TO others
Stress -Unmet
need to succeed in managing one's life
Fear -Unmet need
to feel
Safe
Loneliness-Unmet need
for a
Relationship/closeness
Inadequacy- Unmet need
to feel
Equal/adequate
Frustration- Unmet
desire to meet one's needs
Depression -Unmet
need to be hopeful/optimistic/independent of the problem/symptom
What Comes Next ?
Often we use
distracters to move the focus of our attention form the feeling we have toward
what MAY make us feel "better", like having a bowl of ice-cream or buying a
couple of pairs of shoes, or having a drink. This does not get rid of the
feeling and in many cases makes us feel even worse, as ice-cream puts on a few
extra pounds when we don't need them, shopping impairs our financial situation
adding to feeling bad, and drinking impairs our judgment making us end up with a
wrong decision. When the primary feelings are left unattended and the
distracters are in place then the consequent feeling of
Frustration
a
deep disappointment in all your ability to achieve some positive change which
enters your life. When frustration builds up and we loose the capacity to make
decisions correctly and eventually loose interest in many things that usually
made us feel good in the past,
Then Comes
Depression
 a
complete disinterest in all you have always loved, a feeling of prolonged
sadness and inability to motivate one-self toward progress and success.
Positive
Programming With Hypnosis
Distracters to make us
feel
"better" are just not enough. All they do is just postpone dealing
with the source problem until the feeling grows into a depressive state.
Some common distracters are consuming more food and shopping, smoking and drinking,
perpetual cleaning
and constantly busying ourselves until we are so tired and flop in the bed
without thinking, and then laying there and cannot fall asleep.
Feeling-Cause-Response
Through Hypnosis we
can enter The Positive
Programming stage. The goal here is to correctly identify the feeling we feel
initially and correctly categorize it, and then create a positive correct
response to the CAUSE, not to the consequent feeling. From the categories listed
at the top of the page it is easier to
pick out a feeling for this moment when we feel it. In hypnosis such work is
highly facilitated. Then we need to identify the
source of such feeling. If every time you go to work your head hurts and you
feel angry, then work through the day until you find the source (not the
direction) of your anger. Perhaps it is a job in itself, rather than your boss,
or a co-worker. Then comes the most important step to identify the correct
satisfying response. So the process is such "Feeling-Cause-Response" The
process can be largely facilitated through hypnosis, as in hypnosis many ways of
calculating, analyzing and rationalizing are substituted by relaxed flow of
subconscious knowledge coming up to the surface of your thinking. This is why
the process becomes so successful and fast.
Case Studies:
Kay was a successful
stock broker. She was married for 7 years but during this time was not able to
conceive a child she wanted. Her husband was a busy businessman, with three
daughters from previous marriage and one of them getting pregnant at the age of
15. Kay had no idea where her frustration stemmed from and
continued eating more and more. Initially and through work in hypnosis it was
easy for her to determine what the feelings were: she became
stressed in her relationship, felt lonely in her battle
with her emotions, and feared for her family stability. Finally,
she resolved to learn to relax, learned to manage the life with her husband
better, which gave her a feeling of safety and more time in
relationship with her husband. She lost weight and relaxed and was able to
conceive within 6 months.
Janice was a
very busy marketing director. She practically lives at work. Her eating patterns
became destructive to her. She gained weight and felt frustrated.
Every night she continued to comfort herself after a hard and emotionally
draining day with a bowl of ice-cream in bed before falling asleep, but it did
not make her feel any better. Through hypnosis she was able to work her
situation, determined the feeling of loneliness, and began working
toward creating a ground for her relationship. She had also identified another
feeling, guilt, through her being unfair to her daughter through
her divorce. She had also had identified a feeling of anger toward
her ex-husband, because he left her in a straining financial situation and now
she had little time for her small daughter. She started to fear for her job, as
her financial situation became progressively worse. Being able to pinpoint the
feelings allowed Janice to start work and quickly progress onto a productive
re-direction of her energy and her time. Quickly soon after she regained the
control in her life and felt much safer and more relaxed.
YOU CAN DO IT TOO
Learning to Reframe Negative
Responses Through Identifying the feeling you feel, then identifying the cause
of it, the source of it, and then creating the satisfying response to calm this
feeling.
 
Goal - Feeling at Peace
Call for your session appointment now at 866-522-5886 or
E-mail your questions
Anger
Stress
Sadness
Fear
Boredom
Loneliness
Guilt
Inadequate
HAPPY and PEACEFUL
you can be this too
We also offer hypnosis tapes and CDs and professional NGH
Hypnotism certification training for you to become a certified hypnotist/hypnotherapist in a conveniently located office in New York City.
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